Last year, our calling in church was to teach the six/seven-year-old Sunday School class. At the end of the year, we were surprised to get an email from the Primary president saying she knows we have a little one who will be starting Sunbeams in 2011, and would we like to teach his class or are we looking to foster independence?
I wrote her back that it's news to me if we have a son (turns out there are other Waddells in our ward). But apparently they had designs to switch us to Sunbeams anyway. We've still never met our "son," though we are listed as his parents on the roster... so the Primary people probably wonder why our "son" is inactive but we're there, teaching his class every week.
We teach five little three-year-old boys. There are two other Sunbeams classes, and all of those kids are reverent and quiet and stay in their seats. Our boys are jumping, climbing, sliding, crawling, laughing, running... usually anything but reverent. I told Todd I think we're being prepared to handle kids with strong personalities because we will likely have kids with strong personalities. Todd said "
yeah, I'd say that's accurate."
Oh, boy.
Sunbeams:
Mikey, whose sole motivation in life is food and favorite place to put his hands is down his pants. He is super silly and fun-loving, and refers to everyone in the class as "our friend" (my fault, I kept saying this on our first day.)
Brendan, our semi-narcoleptic little Asian buddy. The kid just loves fun and is always smiling. He has a preoccupation with the word "poop," which is consequently just about the only word he says that I can understand.
Brian, who we still don't know whether speaks English. I tried speaking Spanish to him on the first Sunday to make him feel more comfortable. That was a mistake, because now he thinks I understand him.
Zach, the smart little ringleader. He's the oldest, so he sometimes gets bored and teaches the other kids to do something naughty. He's very pleased with this skill. He also likes to stare at people at close range and dislikes wearing shoes.
James, the sweetest, most outgoing little boy who ever lived. He raises his hand for
everything, thinks every word he says is super exciting, crawls and jumps and climbs all over, and has mastered the art of the adorable pout.
Some of our best stories about these boys come from Sharing Time, when all the kids from 3 to 8 years old get together to listen to a lesson and sing. It's the first time we see them all week, and I think being around so many kids energizes them.
Last week, Zach had a preoccupation with the cemetery ("cemetewy"). I will try to write this exactly as he said it. Imagine wide eyes, excitement, and periodic, huge gulps of breath every now and then. And a lisp.
"My sister her name is Megan and she has gymnastics meets every Tuesday and I go to them and
every time we have to drive past the cemetery on our way there and there are rocks and skeletons buried in the ground and if you go there they come out of the ground and attack you and they have bombs on their heads and you have to cut all the wires except NOT the red ones or else you will
explode."
While I am taking this all in, Zach sighs and sits back in his chair as if "woe is me, what to do about these skeletons." Then he sits up, looks at me with these huge eyes and whispers:
"You look really pretty."
Then sighs, sits back, and resumes pondering the skeleton problem.
---
The lesson that day was on the
Plan of Salvation, which outlines where we came from, why we're here, and where we're going. The teacher called on several kids to help her answer some questions, which I missed while I was learning about the skeletons.
A few minutes later, she asked "where did we learn about the Plan of Salvation?" The answer, which she had already led them to, was to say "in Heaven, before we were born!" Zach snapped out of his meditation and raised his hand with 100% confidence. I looked at the teacher with a "you
don't want to call on him" look in my eyes. So, of course she did.
"Zach, where did we learn about the Plan of Salvation?"
"The cemetery."
Later in the hour, James kept opening his Book of Mormon, pointing at random verses and saying to me "this is
not correct!" while Zach gave me a basic rundown of the plot for The Lord of the Rings. Then Brendan fell asleep and fell out of his chair.
---
Today during Sharing Time, Mikey said he had to go to the bathroom, so Todd took him. The Church has a rule that male teachers can't take kids to the bathroom, so Todd waited outside the door while Mikey did his thing.
Some time passed, and Mikey hadn't returned. Todd saw another guy go into the bathroom, and figured he'd ask this guy if everything was going okay when he came back out. It had been a while, but the kid is three. These things take time. When the guy came out, he asked who was in charge of the kid running around naked in the bathroom.
Todd didn't know what to do. The obvious thing would be to go help Mikey, but there's that rule. Luckily, one of the ladies in the Primary presidency happened to walk by. She helped Todd pull an amused and naked Mikey out of the Men's room and into the Women's room where she put him back together.
A little while later, Mikey said he had to go to the bathroom again. I don't think so, buddy.
---
Fun things happen in class, too. Today, right in the middle of the lesson and out of nowhere, Zach burst out:
"I wear underwear to bed.
And I've never pooped in them
or peed in them."
Ahhh, Sunbeams.
